Lab Values

[Intro] Flashcards on the floor at two in the morning Same ten numbers you keep almost knowing Here they are, and this time they stay [Verse 1] Potassium three point five to five That one's the heart, so that one goes first Sodium one thirty-five to one forty-five That one's the brain, confusion and seizures Calcium eight point five to ten point five Magnesium one point five to two point five [Pre-Chorus] Under three point five is hypo, flat T waves and U waves Over five is hyper, peaked T waves and a widening QRS Potassium never goes I.V. push That's not a preference, that's a code [Chorus] Potassium three point five to five Sodium one thirty-five to one forty-five Calcium eight point five to ten point five Magnesium one point five to two point five Glucose seventy to a hundred fasting Know the range, then know what you do [Verse 2] B.U.N. ten to twenty, creatinine point six to one point two Read those two together and you're reading the kidney Hemoglobin twelve to eighteen Platelets one fifty to four hundred thousand I.N.R. two to three if they're on warfarin Climbing past three and the bleeding risk climbs with it [Bridge] They're not going to ask you to define the range They'll hand you a potassium of six point two and a patient, and ask what you do first The number's where it starts, not where it ends [Chorus] Potassium three point five to five Sodium one thirty-five to one forty-five Calcium eight point five to ten point five Magnesium one point five to two point five Glucose seventy to a hundred fasting Know the range, then know what you do [Outro] Potassium is the heart, sodium is the brain Three point five to five, one thirty-five to one forty-five Never push potassium, not once, not ever Know the range, then know the move [End]